Congratulations on being a parent and welcome to the world of discovery filled with unknown, unexpected, time-consuming challenges and irreplaceable pleasures. Parenting correctly involves being part of a child’s development that will also add to your dimensions as a person, friend, mentor, and parent.
Although parents get better at parenting with time – it doesn’t get any easier since no two kids are the same. Parents need to be prepared for the simple fact – your child needs you to help them through the challenges of basic life. The purpose of each episode, event, and crisis is to strengthen the foundation and bonds of a parent-child relationship parent-child relationship.
The truth of the matter – there are no perfect parents any more than there are perfect kids. So, expect to be stressed out at times and overjoyed at others. Know that somewhere in the middle of all this, a parent gains the confidence to trust your instincts with practice. Listening to your child along with some good advice for parenting correctly is part of learning to be a better parent.
The reality of being a good parent
Besides being responsible for providing a safe and secure environment, parents also need to make the rules and learn how to balance yes and no. None of which is easy and everything at some point will be challenged or questioned by the child. Scary isn’t it? Don’t feel so bad. You are not alone.
Parenting correctly is about making time and doing your best in a busy world:
- Learn how to maneuver through your child’s challenges to succeed.
- Come up with comprises that fit both sides of the argument.
- Stick to the rules, no ifs and or buts – even with all the emotional outbursts of a child.
- Parents need to find “alone time” to control emotions, regroup and de-stress.
It’s important to be consistent with the rules. If you do agree to make adjustments, explain why, and consider limits on the change. Why? Children learn by example, inconsistently sends the wrong message and a tantrum becomes the potential vehicle for breaking a parent’s rule breaking a parent’s rule. Through it all, keep an open mind and make no judgments, but always state your authority.
Developing the parent-child relationship
We all know that connections build relationships – a parent-child relationship may be the most valuable connection your child forms. Nature kick-starts this relationship built on dependency. The best way to connect and stay connected is to show an interest in the child’s activities. Remember, you are now entering a child’s world.
- Take the time to learn about your kid – what do they like, what do they fear, what makes them unsure?
- Let them take you through the adventure, but don’t lose sight of them.
- It’s part of setting the stage to be their come-to person.
- Support and acknowledge the difficulties and wonders – don’t belittle it- it’s important to them.
Be a kid yourself and enjoy the journey with your child. Connecting with children takes times and requires repeat performances – be sure to schedule quality time with your kids. Watch their favorite TV show or go to the park – do something that engages a conversation to talk about what is happening in both of your worlds.
Pay attention and listen
Kids always have a reason for doing or not doing things. Parents need to pay attention to a child’s behavior – they are sending messages. For most kids, the word “no” takes on a whole new meaning from infancy to toddler and the meaning gets more complicated as they begin to use it against a parent’s better judgment.
- Allow them to make choices to help develop self-confidence but always explain the consequences.
- Remember the rules are essential guidelines for helping a child make the right decision for the right reason.
- Don’t mistake independence for disobedience – independence is earned, not given, or taken.
- Don’t ignore odd or misbehavior as growing pains.
- Learn to be an active listener.
When talking with your child, put everything aside and give the child your undivided attention. Focus on what’s going on with the child. You know your child better than anyone – watch the facial expressions, body language, word choices, and tones. Make eye contact to let them know; you’re there and don’t interrupt, let them finish.