Behavior

Helicopter Parents, Hello.

Dear Parents,

Let me please introduce myself, I am a teacher and I’m here today to talk to you about your helicopter antics and micromanagement of your child’s educational experience. It shouldn’t come as news to you that I care quite a bit about your child and ensuring that they receive the education that they need.

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I understand how important it is for them to earn good grades, score well on the SAT, and prepare for many, many successes in their future lives. However, you can make my job more difficult than it needs to be when you are constantly inserting yourself in the process and second-guessing my methods.

What are the effects of helicopter parenting? How to deal with helicopter parents? What are some examples of of helicopter parents? Why are the benefits of helicopter parenting?

Trust me, we’re on the same page

You may be surprised to learn that most teachers join the profession because they really care about kids. Crazy, right? When it comes to guiding and providing your kiddos with the foundation they need to be successful in life, we’ve got it covered. It’s literally our job to teach your kids. That’s what we wake up to do every morning. That’s what we plan for every evening, that’s what we’re doing every minute that we’re on the clock. We went to school to learn the most effective teaching methods for every type of child.

It’s important to remember that your child isn’t the only one in my classroom. Some methods may not work as well for them, but they may be exactly what another child needs. Luckily, we vary our teaching techniques and approaches in order to best serve ALL of the children in the class.

Rather than accepting that we are the professionals in the room, your insistence on telling us how to do our jobs is beyond counterproductive, it’s insulting. We are not the enemy, and we also want what’s best for all of our students. If your child is not getting the grade that you think they deserve, it may be more beneficial to look at what they can improve rather than ranting about our supposed purposeful sabotaging of your child’s success.

We don’t make up reasons to single out your child and try to blame them for something they didn’t do

Please don’t question our integrity or authority in front of your child. It undermines our effectiveness when dealing with your child in both positive and negative interactions. If you don’t respect us how can we expect your child to? We’re not going to create phantom incidents in order to try to get your child in trouble. Yes, there are various interpretations of different circumstances, but to act like we’re making things up out of thin air is both disingenuous and detrimental to your child’s growth.

If we accuse your child of misbehaving it’s because we saw something or heard something that was outside the bounds of acceptable classroom behavior. If your child has been reprimanded for misbehaving, think of it as an opportunity to work with us to form an effective solution rather than pitting us against each other. When your child acts up at school it’s usually because of some other stressor that is affecting them outside of the class.

Let’s use their wrongdoing as a jumping-off point to dig deeper into what may be bothering them, and get to the root cause of the problem together.

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No, teachers aren’t perfect, but we do deserve the benefit of the doubt

Rather than firing off a confrontational email after your child tells you about something that happened in class that you don’t agree with, why not pick up the phone and have a productive conversation? We are more than willing to listen to your perspective and hear out your concerns.

By the same token, we ask that you give us the same consideration and listen to what we have to say. We do make mistakes, and we may have areas of interacting that could use some improving, just like everyone else, but that doesn’t mean that everything that we do should be discounted. Even though we aren’t perfect, there’s a lot of stuff that we do right, and it’s important that we receive the respect that we deserve.

Let’s talk but in a respectful and effective manner. Trust me, we’ll both like the results a whole lot better when we adopt this approach. We are on the same team, and when we work together your child is the one who benefits the most. Rather than swooping to try to save the day, why not take advantage of the resources that are provided to you by the school and our staff?

Please stop with the helicoptering and try a gentler, softer approach. We are happy to address your concerns, we just don’t appreciate being treated like we’re the enemy.

Thank you,

Your child’s teacher